#theweddingchronicles

the wedding chronicles | decision #9

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THE CAKE

in addition to being very dedicated to picking out a great photographer, phillip was also very excited about working together to pick out the perfect cakes for our big day.  now, you might be curious when i say “cakes,” as in multiple cakes and not just one, and you are reading correctly.  not at all modern-day weddings but at many it is a popular trend to have the standard wedding cake and now also a groom’s cake.  a groom’s cake, what is that?  well, it’s exactly what it sounds like it is:  a cake the groom gets to pick and decorate all to his liking.  now, this isn’t to be said that a bride and groom are incapable these days of picking a single cake together (which phillip and i definitely were able to do), but it’s just another fun thing (essentially another cost, if we’re being very honest) that helps to represent the coming together of two individuals into a single marriage.  and, if you’re like phillip and me and planning on only having one wedding day, then why not!  the more cakes the merrier.  🙂

although several bakers were recommended by the wedding coordinator, we decided first to try out a local baker near and dear to the davis family.  sister’s sweet creations has been baking cakes for years in peachtree city, and of all those bakes they have baked, several include countless cakes enjoyed at davis family birthday parties, events, and occasions of all sorts.  and so since cathy (the lead baker at sister’s sweet creations) already had a special place in phillip’s heart, we figured we’d start with her and go from there.  so, phillip, his mother michele, and i met up on a beautiful thursday afternoon to press our luck at sister’s sweet creations.

the bakery has a tiny storefront, but right in the middle they’d put together a couple of tables with a generous spread of freshly baked cupcakes, cookies, and all sorts of frostings.  i think i could get used to this kind of service!

cathy first asked for all the “vitals” – the wedding date, location, number of guests, so on and so forth.  we were in luck that our wedding date was available and, better yet, that she and her crew only commit to one wedding per day.  i definitely liked that answer, knowing that our cakes will be her primary focus.  so far so good, and we hadn’t even taken a taste!

we then also started talking design.  for the wedding cake, we hadn’t yet pinned down a particular style or color or theme, but the good news is that sister’s sweet creations has a lot of experience with many different techniques.  we together scrolled through their gallery online as cathy pointed out different trends and ideas, and even though we didn’t finalize anything for the wedding cake, i do think we got a better of what will work for us and our venue.

now as for the groom’s cake, phillip had a very specific vision in mind.  i don’t want to spoil the surprise, so all i’ll say is this:  phillip’s cake definitely represents who he is and the things he loves.  i highly recommend you check out his cake (and the wedding cake, too) before dinner is done at the reception.  we think you’ll love them both!

at this point you’re likely thinking to yourself, “kelsey, it’s great that you’re going with a local baker and we can’t wait to see these stunning cake designs, but what about the flavors?  what do we have to look forward to in five months?”  well, i’ll start by saying that all the cakes and frostings and buttercreams we tasted at sister’s sweet creations were delicious.  but, of course, having all of them in one cake or even two might be a little much.  so, if you insist on knowing, we were able to narrow down the delicious flavors as follows.  first, the groom’s cake will be a combination of chocolate cake and peanut butter frosting (we highly recommend getting a slice of this one when you’re there).  and as for the wedding cake, it will be three tiers, one with the bakery’s signature flavor called “strawberry champagne,” one with a classic and delicious white almond, and a third with dangerously sweet white chocolate raspberry.  i expect it will be grand and rich and the perfect treat to satisfy your sweet teeth.  we of course hope you love them as much as we do, but if not, then more cake for us!  🙂

the wedding chronicles | decision #4

kdavis 1 Comment

THE PHOTOGRAPHER

as many former brides have told me and will likely tell you, the photographer is one of the most important decisions you will make for your wedding day.  they all have said, “your pictures are the only thing you have to remember the day by afterwards, so you have to make a good choice.”  if you think about it, it is quite true.  in addition to being reminded of this truth, you’ll get the name of every photographer who has photographed any wedding you have ever been to and even those you never attended.  while a great starting point for ideas and inspiration, be sure you pick the photographer right for you and your big day.  how do you do that, you ask?  like this.

first, like the starting point for many other wedding choices, determine what your budget is.  although you might want the celebrity photographer in town, they might be out of your price point.  and, something else to be said here is that the photographer is likely going to cost more than you expect.  one night i was churning through photography sites on my computer to try and narrow down some options but was derailed when it felt like each one was more expensive than the last!  i understand you don’t necessarily want to skimp in regards to the photographer, but a “starting at” price of $4500 seems high.  but hey, what do i know; it’s not like i’ve ever planned a wedding before.

second, figure out if you want just a photographer or if a videographer is also part of your needs.  the reason i encourage you to figure this out is because the more you want, the more you have to pay, and even though a videographer might sound like an awesome add-on, it also comes at a price.  if you’ve got the budget or wiggle room elsewhere in your wedding, go for it!  i think videographers capture a special essence of the day and create a great keepsake for the future.

third, while flipping through galleries of potential photographers, try to discern what their style is and what they tend to focus on in their pictures and if what they produce matches up with what you and your fiance want.  are they capturing a lot of detail of the day?  are the family portraits high quality?  is the level of professionalism apparent?  now, with this being said let me let you in on a little secret:  after a while all of the pictures are going to look the same.  or almost the same.  what i’m trying to say is that you’re going to get tired of looking through these pictures, and that’s okay.  you have to stop looking at some point, so decide on your top two or three prospects and go from there.

fourth, while trying to pick out some favorite contenders, i encourage you to include your significant other, especially if it’s a man and especially if you think he might not care.  the reason i say this is because the pictures you will have after your wedding day are both of yours, and sometimes a fiance can help you make that tough choice by having a preference of their own.  hopefully it will work out nicely for you and yours like it did for phillip and me.  🙂  we worked particularly well together as a team on this decision.

fifth, once you have a few photographers in mind, meet them in person if possible!  although their site might be informative and the pictures breathtaking, nothing replaces a personal connection, something you can really only gauge by meeting face-to-face.  for phillip and me, we had two finalists that we met for coffee (separately, of course).  the first finalist was nice enough and quite laid back but was almost too laid back for our liking.  our second finalist was extremely professional, asked us questions about ourselves, paid for phillip’s coffee (excellent move if i do say so myself), and even started offering some ideas, not knowing if we were going to go with them or not.  sometimes it might “just be a feeling” you have on whether or not you like a particular photographer, but that’s okay.  this is your day, after all, and you should feel confident about each decision you make, especially such a big one.

sixth, ask questions.  how many hours do you get?  how many photographers will be there?  is an engagement session included?  if your photographer has to travel, are there any fees incurred?  so on and so forth.  just google “questions to ask a wedding photographer” and you’ll get yourself a nice big list of questions with which to pepper your professional.  the photographers we encountered were very open to answering our numerous inquiries, which was not only nice but also the right thing to do.

seventh, if possible, see if you can get an engagement session included.  i think for each photographer we interviewed this was the case, which is a great thing.  why?  well, i initially wasn’t interested in doing an engagement shoot, but then everyone said it was a good opportunity for you and your fiance to get to know your photographer and vice versa.  i mean, it does seem like a good way to get comfortable not only with your photographer but also with getting your picture taken, A LOT.  plus, it’s a good excuse to buy a new outfit and get all dressed up, which is fine by me.

so!  in the end, who did we choose?  we chose a pair of photographers by katie snyder photography.  their reputation, genuine joy, and industry knowledge were among the deciding factors, and what’s even better is that they were flexible with us and are in budget – sign us up!

the wedding chronicles | decision #3

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THE DRESS

now that phillip and i are less than eight months out from the big day, things are really starting to kick into gear.  the to-do list hasn’t necessarily grown, but we’ve realized that it’s time to start making some more decisions.  the latest and one of the most exciting decisions?  the dress!

most folks consider the dress the crown jewel of the wedding day, and understandably so.  the bride is wearing the dress all day, she’s being photographed in it from sun up to sun down, and it’s the most important dress she will wear in her entire life.  so, it makes sense that people tend to make a big deal about it!  but, with all the expectations that guests have about the dress comes the pressure to feel like you are picking the perfect one.  as alluded to in other wedding chronicle entries, some brides have a specific vision for themselves and don’t sway from that at all.  this could be in regards to the venue, the meal, the cake, and especially the dress.  for those brides, i say, “more power to you!”

my situation for the dress, though, wasn’t exactly that.  i’d first tried several dresses on with my mom back in april, and this past weekend she and my bridesmaid kari and i made a return trip to birmingham to see if i could make a decision.  as far as dress shopping goes, we’re in crunch time and needing to order asap!  the good news was all the dresses i liked in april were still front-runners this time around – they were just so different!  then, our trusty consultant laura at bella’s bridal over in hoover was so good at her job that she pulled even more contenders, and it was then that i realized i might be in trouble.  with so many beautiful gowns surrounding me i now had quite a dilemma:  what part of me was my dress going to represent?  would it be the old soul part of my personality?  or maybe the fun quirky side?  what about a little romance?  and what would others picture me wearing?

if you’ve ever watched any wedding dress shopping shows, the emotion of this important choice can take two routes:  one of excitement and joy or, as we many times see, one of disappointment.  it breaks my heart when i see brides who aren’t surrounded by people who only want to see them happy.  it is the bride’s (and groom’s) day after all, and shouldn’t the bride be wearing something that makes them feel confident and at their best?  yes, and without any reservations or doubts!  so here is my message to dress-searching brides everywhere:  come with ideas, enjoy the experience, stand up for yourself, don’t try on anything outside your budget, and choose a dress that makes you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.  if this means bringing only a few people to your appointments, then politely do so.  too much distraction and sometimes too many opinions can cloud things, and the last thing you want to do is make a deposit and walk out of the salon with a sinking feeling in your stomach.  this is the biggest day of your life an you deserve to feel great about each decision you make!

with the wrong crowd you can see how things could start to get very stressful very quickly.  and without supportive people around me, i might have spiraled into dress distress!  however, once i focused my thoughts, shut my eyes, and pictured myself walking down the aisle, i knew that my biggest inspiration would be coming from the church and the reception site, which led me to make the perfect dress choice for the occasion.  as the tears flowed and clapping filled the dressing room, i confidently said yes to the dress!  we celebrated and toasted with glasses of rose champagne, thrilled that another detail of the big day was coming into focus.  i feel lucky to have had a pretty easy time searching for and deciding upon a dress and cannot wait to reveal it to everyone in april!

the wedding chronicles | decision #2

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THE BUDGET

one evening last week i was going through my wedding bag, getting things sorted and paperclipped, when i started to wonder what my next entry for the wedding chronicles would be.  with such a plethora of things i could start planning and describing, i thought it might be hard to choose where to go next, but as i looked through the many piles of carefully categorized ideas, it dawned on me that i had perhaps completely (albeit unknowingly) mistaken the venue as decision #1.  decision #1 truly, i think, should be…that’s right…the budget.  cue the dramatic music!

it’s my general opinion that no one really likes to talk about money, unless they have a lot of it.  i mean, i’m talking millions on millions, and since i’m not in that position, i don’t often bring it up in conversation.  am i the only one?  probably not, so maybe because we don’t usually talk about money i seem to have forgotten to mention it as one of the largest factors when planning your big day.

there are oodles of articles and books written about how to portion the money you have in the most sensible way.  for example, everyone these days says to not skimp on the photographer.  eh, that’s pretty understandable.  i’ll give them that.  however, the different percentage breakdowns you see online or in magazines should, i think, really just be a guide for how you and your fiance/fiancee decide to spend the money.  people also say that you should identify those aspects of your wedding that are most important to you and make those purchases worth your while.  for example, if you want live music over a dj on your big day, be prepared to spend a little more and cut back elsewhere.  or, if a five-course plated dinner is your style, understand it likely won’t come cheap.  i think that if you go into things understanding that wedding services are in high demand and, because of this fact, can charge a premium, you may not be as sticker-shocked as you would be otherwise.

and that brings me to a very honest realization i had early on in this planning:  the typical american wedding is expensive.  let’s say you’re feeding around 100 guests at your reception.  if you go on the more conservative end of the menu, you’re probably spending about $50 per person.  that meal, that one meal right there, is $5,000 of your budget.  yeah, it goes that quickly.  and that might not even include booze!  assuming that’s your thing.

regardless of what your budget is or is not, we must all keep in mind (brides, grooms, and guests, too) that even though the wedding is a large celebration of the vows you exchange with your husband or wife, it truly is a single day in the beginning of a long journey together.  yes, getting married at a castle might be your dream, but it might not be reality.  you might even glow the tiniest bit green with envy as you flip through magazines and shows, seeing couples with unlimited budgets.  however, try not to fret, because at the end of the day your satisfaction with what you can/cannot do will be largely influenced by your perspective on it all.  for phillip and me, we understand that we are spending a lot of money for this event.  we also know we could go over budget and spend more.  and, if we do go a little above, we’ll practice forgiveness because it really is the most special day in our lives so far.  however, i think the way a couple handles their money during wedding planning is a large indicator of how it will be handled in the marriage, and getting off on the right foot, happy with and thankful for what you could afford, seems like a pretty good way to start the rest of your life.

the wedding chronicles | decision #1

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THE VENUE

although other couples may take a different approach, i suspect most wedding planning begins with either a date or a venue or perhaps both.  some people want to get married during a specific time of the year; others have had a vision of the ceremony and reception occurring at a certain venue for quite some time.  if either of those factors is at play, you and your betrothed might easily be directed to a specific set of choices to fit into that picture.  however, phillip and i didn’t fall into either of those categories, and here is what our experience was.

first, phillip and i live in atlanta, ga.  known as “the hollywood of the south,” atlanta has grown into quite a diverse and large city.  as one can imagine, atlanta really became an oyster in that we had nearly endless options to meet whatever style and feel we want for our wedding day.  we could easily go urban and modern and luxurious in a high-rise hotel with a view, we could have something more casual at the local brewery, or we could even have a shabby chic celebration in a restored barn just outside the city limits.  do you see where i’m going with this?  in a city like atlanta, having so many options can be inspiring but can also lead to indecisiveness.  so!  my first piece of advise is this:  do your research and decide on your top ten venues to tour.  you might be thinking that ten sounds like a lot, but something to keep in mind is that the pictures you look at online don’t always actually represent the space.  you might come upon a venue that looked like a ten on their website but turned out to be a dud.  or, the flip side, the pictures you saw were only somewhat interesting but then the venue was even better in person.  the takeaway is that giving yourself enough variety but not too many options will hopefully lead to a venue that is a good representation of what you all want.

second, you actually may not know what you want or don’t want until you see it.  unless experienced, this is probably the first wedding you are planning, and as such you likely have no idea how you are going to feel as you go throughout the process.  for example, phillip and i had narrowed down our top option to have the ceremony and reception at the same location but then realized that having the ceremony at a church instead was paramount to us.  we reevaluated our options and ultimately changed our plans.  however, when we signed those contracts and wrote the check, we and our families were elated that we were picking places that would make us both happy.  my advice here is to be flexible, patient, and respectful of one another as you explore your wants together.  you don’t want to rush a decision as important as this one, and choosing a venue is one of the many things that brings you closer as a couple.

something else i have learned, even this early on in the process, is that nearly every decision you make during wedding planning is going to be emotional.  sure, from the outside looking in some choices might seem logical (either option a or option b), but in the couples’ minds, hardly anything is that simple.  considering the fact that your wedding day is probably the most important day of your lives thus far, it’s understandable that you want everything to be perfect.  although i encourage you to fight for what you want, i do see the sense in also not overthinking things, especially the “smaller” things.  maybe i need to write this down and keep it in my wedding binder as a reminder for future decisions…!

finally, as far as choosing where and when to plan your nuptials, i say this:  the space you choose may require you to compromise on other aspects of plans you have for your big day.  for example, the reception site we chose isn’t conducive to serving dinner family-style, something that was originally extremely high on my priority list.  however, as you come across this kind of situation, ask yourself what will be worth it at the end of the day.  did i want us to keep looking for a venue just as close to the church that would also do family-style?  or was i willing to “give that up” for a gorgeous building inspired by the town of glendalough, ireland?  well, the latter ended up being the case, and when this happens, it’s okay.  remember, as they all say, sometimes compromise is part of being married.  what better practice to get than when planning your wedding?  😉

the wedding chronicles

kdavis 1 Comment

as many of you know, phillip and i have been engaged for about four months now.  not wanting to rush the engagement excitement, we didn’t seriously begin forming wedding ideas or plans until about february.  now, i am not the typical bride in that i wouldn’t say i’ve had a dream wedding in mind since my childhood.  however, i would say i have a pretty strong sense of design and personal style that i would ideally incorporate into our big day.  among all the things every couple wants for their wedding day, in the end a celebration that equally represents phillip and me is certainly the goal.

now, in an effort to begin sourcing ideas that might fit well with our style, i must admit that i have already done my fair share of magazine perusing.  i think my mother, kari, and i went through about ten over the Christmas break just ourselves, and i know for certain that i have two editions of the knot:  georgia sitting in my shoulder bag at the moment.  as i looked (and continue to look) through these glossy pages full of tips and tricks and diy secrets, one thing became glaringly clear to me:  planning a wedding involves nearly a countless number of decisions.  from the venue to the caterer to the photographer and hotel, just thinking about all the things to be done can cause a couple to feel overwhelmed.

beyond the pressure that the modern wedding industry has forced on us (particularly the brides), there is the added sense of anticipation from those who will attend the big day.  we’re all guilty of gossiping about a wedding afterwards (or even during it).  for example, “the colors she picked are so out of season.”  or, “this fish is dry, and the green beans are rubbery.”  or, perhaps, the worst of them all, “this dj is trash!”  yes, we all do it and will continue to do so because, like many other things in life, we often think we can do better on something we have no involvement with whatsoever.

now, i’m not staying i’m excluding myself from the wedding gossip cycle.  we’re all human and it’s something that comes with the territory.  however, this desire to please a large crowd of people whose opinions you value greatly only adds more stress to something that is already so stressful in nature.  although i’d like to put myself above the fray on this one (because i tend to be pretty organized and confident), i know there will be moments when i am subject to it all just like every other person in this position.

so!  where am i going with all of this, you ask?  i’ll tell you exactly where all of this is going.  i am going to document (and count) each decision phillip and i have to make to plan this wedding.  this adventure is two-fold:  first, we’ll be able to quantify, in some way, just how much work is required in planning a wedding these days.  second, i’ll get to celebrate a small victory with each choice we make throughout this process.

i think it will be a joyous, exciting, and unpredictable journey.  so, strap yourself in and let’s see where this road takes us!