the wedding chronicles | decisions #23 and #24

THE REGISTRY & THE WEBSITE

as you may already know, phillip and i have big plans for our honeymoon in punta cana, and considering we are in major crunch mode (only twelve days to go!), the thought of being on a beach with a margarita and guacamole within reach is sounding utterly divine.  now, although all our family and friends won’t necessarily be joining us on the honeymoon, many of you are still a part of it because of your generous contributions to our honeyfund, and we cannot thank you enough!

now, there may be some folks out there who are unfamiliar with exactly what a honeyfund is.  well, a honeyfund is a great traditional registry alternative for those couples who either already have everything they need or simply want to be a bit unique.  i first heard about a honeyfund when my cousin kate married kenny last year, and what you can do is donate funds to their dream honeymoon.  kenny and kate are currently on a northwestern roadtrip of california, oregon, and washington and, as i understand, are having a fabulous time.  so, instead of needing new pots or pans or plates, for example, guests could donate money to, say, their gas fund for the trip or maybe a night in a nice hotel.  kinda make sense?

well, if any of you know phillip and me, you know that our condo is pretty much filled to the brim with everything we need.  as a couple in their late 20s and having lived together for over two years, we’ve acquired many of the home goods that are necessary in our lives.  as such, i was quite hesitant to get the price gun out and start shooting up all sorts of random knick knacks and kitchen tools at the local department store.  now, the wedding, the registry, and certainly the marriage are not only all about me, so phillip and i had several discussions and eventually were able to compromise in this regard.

first, he was fond of the idea of still registering for some actual gifts.  so, we took two sundays to visit the local bed bath & beyond store and build a registry that i think and hope is not too demanding or over-the-top.  we tried very hard to be practical but also kept in mind that certain items could be added to the list since we hope to be a growing family sometime in the future.  and even though it isn’t easy for me to ask people for gifts, eventually i was able to agree that a registry is a convenient opportunity to upgrade some older items.

after completing our traditional registry, phillip also spun up our honeyfund site where our guests, if they feel so inclined, can contribute any amount to our honeymoon in the dominican republic.  although “writing a check” may not feel as personal to our guests, believe me when i say phillip and i are just as appreciative of this kind of gift.  we will certainly be in desperate need of fun and relaxation after all the planning and preparation, and we couldn’t do it without you all.

after phillip created the site with the basic information, he asked if i’d like to update it with all sorts of fun and interesting facts, like where phillip and i met, how he proposed, how i said “yes,” who our bridesmaids are, who our groomsmen are, so on and so forth.  i paused in contemplation and then as politely as i could i replied, “you know, we’ve got so much else to do for the wedding.  can we put that on the ‘b’ list of to-do items?”  i think phillip could hear what i wasn’t explicitly stating (which was that embellishing our honeyfund site was very low on my priority list), and so he thankfully took it upon himself to add a few details about the wedding, update the template to something tropical, and call it a day.  in my opinion, sometimes less is more and i am grateful i have a partner who can help me focus on the things that are most important.  🙂

the wedding chronicles | decision #19

THE GIFTS/FAVORS

to an extent it feels almost impossible to properly thank the people who will attend your wedding.  they’ve likely known you and your fiance as individuals but also together as a couple, and they have hopefully been a positive influence in your lives.  more than moral support and late night phone calls, these folks are taking time out of their busy schedules to spend their hard-earned money on flights and rental cars and hotel rooms and gifts and new outfits so that they can be with you to celebrate on your big day.  and when you put it that way, it only seems appropriate to figure out a way to thank them for all they have done.

having been to my fair share of weddings, i’ve undoubtedly seen a wide variety of guest gifts and favors.  one of the more popular trends these days is a packed gift box you receive upon checking into the hotel for the wedding weekend.  these parcels typically include a sweet note, favorite treats of the bride and groom, handmade tokens, and sometimes even souvenirs from the couple’s most beloved local spots.  i have been the fortunate recipient of a few boxes and bags such as these and am quite grateful and flattered when i unpack the generous contents, especially after a long night of dancing and drinking, at that most critical moment when a hand-picked goodie is just the ticket!

when phillip and i first started brainstorming favor ideas, this one seemed like as good an idea as any, and we were very quickly able to put together a list of items that would perfectly represent us to our guests.  however, there were two big hurdles we just couldn’t cross.  first, although it might not be a large cost to put together one bag with, say, five items, think about multiplying that cost by 100 or even 200.  and there isn’t just the financial cost of what it takes to get the supplies.  you think all those cute little tins and baggies get stuffed in those boxes so neatly overnight all by themselves?  you wish!  i bet it could be fun if you were to put together a charming assembly line with your bridesmaids and champagne and favorite playlists, and if you have time for that, more power to you.  me, i’ve got enough on my plate, so in this regard simpler is better.  the second hurdle?  the second hurdle is the little-known fact that sometimes a hotel will charge you to pass out those bags to guests as they arrive at the check-in counter, no matter how cute they are and regardless of how big your new monogrammed initials may be.  and as i have said many times before, planning a wedding necessitates the art of compromise, and sometimes something’s just gotta give.

so, since we won’t be able to give each of you a wooden box engraved with your initials and turtle doves inside (because who wouldn’t want to figure out how to pack that in their carry-on), phillip and i got creative.  now, we threw in a little tradition with a little quirkiness but don’t want to spoil the surprise!  what we have picked out for our guests is something we hope will bring a smile to your face and warm memories to your minds after you return home and fondly think back to our wedding many days later.  get ready!  only 52 days to go!